My past, present, and future

It's been a year since I started my weight loss journey and I wanted to do a little bit of review in this blog.  First of all, I wanted to show you a few pictures that prove that I haven't always been on the heavy side of the scales.

14th Birthday - of course I'm eating cake!!

Senior Graduation 1977

Wedding 1978 - 18 years old

Here's where the problem started.  In less than 10 years, I had two children and doubled my wedding day weight.  So, in December 1988 I decided to have my stomach stapled in hopes that I could get back to a "normal" size.

Night before I had my stomach stapling surgery - December 1988

I think over all, I lost 60 pounds after this surgery.  Even though your stomach is the size of a walnut, I found out real quick what foods I could eat that wouldn't hang up in the staples.  Ice cream was basically what I lived on.  As I've stated in a previous blog, this surgery did not work for me. The desire to eat was still there and it didn't matter how big or little my stomach was.


I continued to fight my weight over the next 20+ years.  I tried so many different diets and spent a lot of money on weight loss programs.  All the time becoming more and more unhappy, unhealthy and unsociable.  I was totally miserable.  Hated myself and most of the people around me.  However, I was able to keep a job and most of the time fooled the people around me by acting like I had everything together.

Mother's Day 2001

In 2003 our son, Jason got married.  I was actually able to lose 100 pounds for his wedding. 

July 26, 2003

I immediately went back to my old eating habits and of course the weight returned.  So did my depression and self hatred. 


Mother's Day 2007 - am I really fooling anyone with that smile??

The weight continued to pile on!  I hate the following picture, but it really represents how far I allowed myself to "self-destruct".  I can't describe how I felt whenever I first saw this picture.  Denial didn't work anymore.  This was really me.




Oops, it's the next picture. Actually this picture looks a lot better than I do. 



I even looked "shocked" in this picture.

Something had to change!  I knew I was wasting the life that God had given me.  I have always prayed that God would help me lose weight.  I believe in the power of prayer, but there were issues within myself that needed to be changed before it was going to show up on the outside.


During this time, I started going to Bible College.  I thought this would be the best way I could change and become a better person.  No immediate change was noted.  However, as I perservered my thoughts started lining up with the Word.  In 2010, I went through a self-evaluation period.  I realized that I had settled into a comfort zone that God never intended me to be in.  I had no goals.  I didn't think that my life would ever change.  My future was something that I really never even thought about.  I just tried to get through each day.  God in His loving kindness revealed to me that even though I had given up on myself that His plans for me had never changed.  He knew I had value and gifts within me because (duh!) He's the one who put them there in the first place.  :)

In June 2011, I started my journey:

 

By Christmas, I had lost 70 lbs.!

 

May 2012, 90 lbs gone for ever!!! (my mom seems pretty happy too!)

We are now at the "year" mark and I have lost a total of 93 lbs.  My inital goal was to lose 100 pounds by now.  However, I am extremely happy with my progress.  My journey is not over, not by a long shot.  Of course I plan to lose more weight, but more importantly, I have goals now.  I have plans.  I embrace my future with excitment and anticipation.  My weight has consumed my life for too many years.  Life has so much to offer and I have missed out on so much.  But, God is good.  He is a God of second, third, fourth.... chances and I'm so happy that I'm finally on track with His plans for my future.



All together I am down 134 lbs. from my heaviest weight in 2002